Even though we became like this,
deep within our hearts, we are yakuzas.
We'll do our best!
From now on, you're the leader.
Ken?
Thank you for coming.
Mari, you'll be the cool beauty.
My soul is forever of a man!
Chika, you'll have the younger sister character.
I told you, I am Kazuhiko!
Hey, we're sold out!
If you enjoy our releases, kindly consider supporting us through: http://patreon.com/tl_skeweds/ | https://bit.ly/Donate_TL-SkewedS | https://ko-fi.com/tlskeweds This is FREE English subtitle from SkewedS Translations. Definitely not for profit. http://tl-skeweds.blogspot.com/ Timed and Translated by - Ais Special Thanks - JPSubbers, JPTVTS
We're shitty very popular... If you enjoy our releases, kindly consider supporting us through: http://patreon.com/tl_skeweds/ | https://bit.ly/Donate_TL-SkewedS | https://ko-fi.com/tlskeweds This is FREE English subtitle from SkewedS Translations. Definitely not for profit. http://tl-skeweds.blogspot.com/ Timed and Translated by - Ais Special Thanks - JPSubbers, JPTVTS
[ We're doing our best! ]
No, I don't get it. What the hell is that? [ We're doing our best! ]
Just what is going on?! I wanna know! [ We're doing our best! ]
Just what is going on?! I wanna know!
Why suddenly in Kansai dialect?!
What is?
The general elections!
General elections? You mean the one done by idols?
Yeah, yeah, that's it. Huh? They don't even break up.
And then they do elections. That's what I don't get.
Besides, you can vote countless times. Aren't Japan a democracy?
That's election violation, you know!
We're sorry!
And besides, you know, the person who ranked high,
will cry like they're gonna faint, you know! Then the one who loses
will smile and applause. It should be the opposite, you know!
I'm sorry!
Then you know, that's where I was thinking.
Elections and disbandment would only annoy people.
That's what only politicians do.
And so that idols would sell, we just have to imitate what politicians do.
Just what the hell is with your attitude?!
We're sorry!
It's not about apologizing, you know!
I'm sorry...
That's a good way of apologizing.
[ First Gokudols Selection Apology Conference ]
We're very sorry! [ First Gokudols Selection Apology Conference ]
What's wrong Big Sis Mari?
Huh? Is she alright?
Chika-pyon, it's alright.
Um, what should we apologize about?
Like hell I know!
What?
Anyway, just apologize. The one who apologizes the best wins.
I am trash! There is nothing wrong with the two of them at all!
I'm really very sorry.
No! I am trash!
I am trash. I'm really sorry to cause trouble to everyone.
Cause trouble? If the one who causes trouble that would be me.
Ah! I'm sorry I was born!
No! I'm the trash! I deeply apologize that I'm trash!
No, it's me! Please everyone, please forgive me!
Ah! Please don't forgive me. Please punish me!
Throw stones at me or whatever please!
Please purify me!
It's alright if you burn me at stake!
It's all my fault. I'm very sorry!
- No, it's me! - I'll shave my head!
- I'm the one at fault. - It's my fault.
- No, I'm the one at fault! - I'm sorry, I'm gonna shave my head!
- I will shave my head! - I'm sorry!
It's alright! It's alright! It's alright!
- All of you did nothing wrong! - Raise your head, Chika-pyon!
Why are they apologizing to us?
I don't know.
I don't really get it but let's forgive them.
~ I want your finger. Please give it to me while it's still warm ~
- The cold winter has passed ~ - More vigorously!
~ Even if we're far apart, I won't forget that warmth ~
That's not what I mean! More vigorously but cutely!
~ I want to continue devoting myself gazing at you ~
~ The hot summer comes and it was beautiful ~
Ah! Geez! No, no! It's really bad!
I wonder why. Why is it that even though it should be cute and clean,
you can't still project that image of being lewd!
But I think we think ourselves as being lewd.
I'm not asking what you're thinking about yourselves.
You must project it! You must make the fans skip a beat!
Well, I understand what you mean.
But how should we do it?
It's femininity!
Do you know what you completely lack?
It's femininity.
Femininity?
But we're old men.
You don't get it right? It's not about being a girl or a mature attractive lady.
Femininity. Well, lemme show you. Okay~
Come here, come here.
Wow!
- It's Airi! - W-What?!
Even Big Sis Mari is here! Aah!
Even Chika!
Who is she?
She's Yui.
She's completely different from you, right?!
I really love the songs you made!
Hey, did you just hear that? Huh?
Yes.
I'm the trainee, Yui Nakamura!
Pleased to meet you!
Get along well.
Certainly her feel, and tenderness are different.
In particular, the thing that we have trouble the most,
her scent is different...
Could she be...
1, 2, 3... No.
The hand should not be like this but this.
This?
She's a real authentic girl.
I brought her here so that you will learn femininity from her.
If they find out that you were once men,
I'll blow you out of this planet after all.
Since you have a cute smile, that's fine.
Then let's start from the top.
Okay.
One, two...
What was that?
We do things far better than her.
Yeah.
Yeah. Since you're cute, it's okay. Let's do it one more time.
Okay.
Let's go.
That's good. "Haa haa."
This is it! This! "Haa haa." Get it?
Idols under no circumstances say "Haa haa", you know.
You too try saying "Haa haa" too.
Haa...
Zse zse...
That's not it!
It's not "Zse zse". It's "Haa haa".
Haa haa...
An idol's "Haa haa" is like a weak girl who is asking for help,
and an attractive mature lady's sexual desire's "Haa haa" after getting tired after sex,
which are mixed, divided partway, you know.
Got it? You really don't get it.
Like shit we get it!
The hell he's saying?
I see.
We can't really win against real life girls.
Of course we can!
We are earnestly doing things as idols.
That's right, pyon.
With my smile, fans are skipping their heartbeats, pyon.
It seems like after I saw the real deal, it seems like a lie.
Pyon...
Anyway...
She's just a trainee and we are official members.
I don't know what the boss is thinking,
We should just continue pushing through what we think idols are.
By the way, why are we running again?
I told you, so that we could learn the proper "Haa haa"!
Only one kilometer left.
What?!
I can't do it anymore!
Hey, hay, Kazu! Stand up!
This is bad. 10 minutes left and it's opening.
Stand up, hey!
He's doing it...
Airi, what do you think of the Shitamachi's extremely spicy curry?
Mari, what do you think?
You know, we really need you to say something...
Chika, a word please.
It's dericious.
Hey!
Hey, hag!
Hey! When will you pay the fee for the ad leaflets, huh?!
You shit!
S-Sorry. The shop is having a hard time these days.
Like shit we care!
We're strict, you know! Should we smash this shop, huh?!
Hey punk! Why the fuck are you filming us, huh?!
Sorry, sorry.
Who the fuck do you think we are?!
Hey, hey, you're so noisy! Who the shit do you think you are?!
Shut up and listen, dammit! Who the fuck are you?!
I'm asking which group are you from, shitheads?!
Aren't you ashamed getting money from some small shop like this, dammit?!
What the fuck?
What the fuck you shitty bitch?!
Don't fuck with us, dammit!
She told you, you're darn noisy, goddammit! You want some of me, you shitty small fry, huh?!
She asked if you want a piece of her?! Dammit! Huh?!
Huh?!
Hey, speak up, dammit! Huh?!
W-What the hell?
Calm down, calm down. Enough, enough. Ow...
So you're caving in?! So you don't have balls with you!
Hey Gran! You don't have to pay any penny to this shitheads! Got it?!
Huh?
Hey, which group do you belong to?!
Aren't you gonna talk, shitheads?!
Hey, fuckers!
Are you doing business without your sign up and not risking your life, dammit?!
Well, that's...
D-Don't fuck with us!
Come on!
Group?
Ah, our group is, you know, Daikoku Association, dammit!
Daikoku Association.
Daikoku Association...
Isn't Daikoku Association the head family?
We did it again...
We're dead...
We deeply apologize!
We didn't know you were from the head family!
Please forgive us!
You don't have to. What?
You don't have to.
We know that it's now too late to apologize.
We won't just be getting away if we picked a fight with Daikoku Association, right?
Understood! I will cut my finger as apology!
What?!
H-Hey, you guys?!
You honest people should shut it. Hey, I'm gonna cut it!
Yes, Sir!
Big Bro!
Hey, hey, hey...
Big Bro.
Wait! Wait!
That's too much!
Please don't stop us! We have at least this kind of resolve of...
Good children don't waste their bodies given by their parents, may they be just the pinky fingers!
Stop it! Back in my days...
Gran! This is something honest people can't understand.
I'll cut my own finger in your place!
Stop! Stop!
There's no way we can use this for TV!
Mrs Suzuki, you're overdoing it too.
Sorry, sorry.
I just remembered the stageplays I used to act.
What?
P...ra... Huh? Prank?
We're very sorry!
You really did it...
I really can't laugh it out this time.
I'm sorry.
We really didn't thought it was a prank!
Don't you get it? A yakuza suddenly picking a fight with you during a shoot is basic! Basic!
Um, will it be broadcasted?
No, no.
Whaat?
You could've gone famous in one shot though.
We're sorry.
Well, great timing.
Starting today, Yui is a new member.
What? What? Yay! Thank you very much!
What?
What? Aren't you three happy?
Alright! We're now four!
Let's do it!
Yeah!
Wait. Hold on.
Who said you're gonna be four?
Aren't we four?
I will have one of you graduate.
What?!
Graduate?!
Yeah.
I will make the one who will graduate feel pain for awhile.
I think the fans will surely cry.
Who will graduate?
With rock-paper-scissors. Isn't there a rock-paper-scissors tournament?!
Rock, paper, scissors. It's rock, paper, scissors.
Rock! Paper! Scissors!
Again!
Ah...
Airi, you're popularity has fallen recently.
Even though you're a leader, you have been of no use.
From now on, I will make useless ones graduate hardly. Got it?
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
[ Airi Graduation Performance ] Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
[ Airi Graduation Performance ]
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Airi!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Airi! Thank you!
Congrats!
~ Please give me ~ - Airi...
~ the sake cup of love ~
Airi!
~ I'll then give you my sake cup ~
Mari...
~ Let's promise our eternal love with pinky swear ~
~ If you broke our promise, I'll cut off your finger ~
Chika-pyon...
~ Cut it off, cut it off, cut it off, cut off the finger ~
~ No! No! ~
~ I don't like you to break our promise so protect it with your life ~
~ And then let's hold our hands and go wherever we want ~
We'll follow you even if we die, Airi!
~ I'll never let you go, I'll never let you go ~
We'll follow you even if we die, Airi!
~ I'll never let you go, I'll never let you go ~
Why?!
Airi! Airi!
Airi, please don't quit!
Don't quit, Airi! Airi!
Airi!
Airi! Airi!
The ramen were delicious.
I know right!
But you don't really need raisins for the toppings.
Ah! No, no.
Raisins are useless in ramen!
No, they're not useless!
You know, there is no such thing as useless in this world!
Huh?
Huh? What?
Scary... To think she's homeless and has such scary face.
Let's go, Shingo.
Y-Yeah.
Even the raisins are doing they're best, you assholes!
Shit!
We will smash the head of Oguroda group.
We will protect our group. Our big boss will also be happy for it.
To think at a time we're in the middle of agreements, you raided them?!
We're very sorry!!!
Why don't you do it?
We'll do it! We'll do it!
We want to be idols!
You should dance! It's not hot!
Your group name would be "Gokudols".
What do you think? You like it?
Idols sleep already by 9PM.
9PM?!
Yeah.
Huh?!
Hey, that's enough.
You terribly just licked my adorable girl there.
But we're alright since we always get energy from the fans!
So you only sold three CDs?
Pathetic.
We're very sorry!
Airi.
Yes, Sir!
You're just average.
- It's Airi! - W-What?!
Alright! We're now four!
Let's do it!
Yeah!
Wait. Hold on.
Who said you're gonna be four?
Who will graduate?
Again!
Airi, you're popularity has fallen recently.
You have been of no use at all.
From now on, I will make useless ones graduate hardly. Got it?
Useless...
Mari, from now on, you're the leader.
What?
If you don't do it well, your breasts will swell.
Huh? Please hold on. Um...
What should a leader...
Don't panic when you're the leader.
I'm sorry. But I would like to ask what is a leader?
Are you an idiot? Whichever group has a leader, right? That's why you need a leader.
You're the leader, you know. Do it properly, do your best.
Got it?
Yes...
Leader, huh?
What should I do? I've never done this before!
All my life, I've just been a follower. I've never been a leader in any group.
Is it alright if I just lead everyone?
That's right! Just like this!
Airi?
The hell is this?
~ The sake cup of love, please give it to me ~
Airi!
~ I'll then give you my sake cup ~
Mari!
~ Let's promise our eternal love with pinky swear ~
~ If you broke our promise, I'll cut off your finger ~
Chika-pyon!
~ Cut it off, cut it off, cut it off, cut off the finger ~
~ No! No! ~
~ I don't like you to break our promise so protect it with your life ~
~ And then let's hold our hands and go wherever we want ~
Airi!
~ I'll never let you go, I'll never let you go ~
Pyon, pyon, pyon, pyon, Chika-pyon, pyon!
~ I'll never let you go, I'll never let you go ~
Who said you should sing with a guy's voice?!
[ This is a beta version softsub & made for people who can't wait. There might be errors in translations, grammar, among others. If you found error(s), please email us (tl.skeweds@gmail.com) the time stamp(s) of the line(s), and how to improve that line(s). Thanks! There will be a final corrected version. ]
If you made a bad live performance, you'll have four breasts.
Yui! Yui!
I have one favor to ask.
Teacher! I want to be an idol!